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Have you ever said to yourself, what I’d really like is a relaxing cocktail AND an energy boost? One of those late-in-the-day, I need both juice to keep going and a bit of a wind-down for a few? Sorta like an Irish Coffee, but instead of being full of whiskey and warmth, it’s nicely chilled for a warm day? You’ve got to give this Blue Balls energy Drink cocktail a spin!

 If this sounds like you, and you like ridiculously innuendo-filled names, we’ve got the perfect drink for you to try: The Blue Balls Energy Drink Cocktail. This original cocktail comes from Keegan at The Daily Change Jar.

Go ahead and giggle. We don’t mind. Featuring the Blue Balls Energy Drink Cocktail!

Much like classic blue balls, this drink takes a little bit of time to develop. The ingredient list is pretty brief: Red Bull Blue Energy drink, Simply lemonade, Grey Goose Vodka, and frozen blueberries.

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Blueberries

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Wild blueberries make the best drinks (and pancakes, and jam, and so on). They’re tiny and sweet and lovely, originating in either Maine or parts of Canada. They’re not cultivatable and thus you can only get them seasonally, unless you get them frozen. Hooray, year-round special blueberries!

Simply Lemonade is a brand of the sweet and sour beverage made by the Coca Cola Company. It’s readily available in most grocery stores.

Red Bull

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Red Bull has been on the market since 1987, when it first appeared in Austria; ten years later, you could find it on shelves in the US and their trademark “Red Bull Gives You Wiiiiings” commercials hit the airwaves. The drinks contain plenty of caffeine and taurine, an essential amino acid. While you usually get some taurine in, say, the meat you eat, it’s purpose isn’t altogether clear. Some studies, however, suggest taurine, when mixed with caffeine, sharpens one’s brain, but the jury seems to be out on that. Add a little sugar, though, and some B vitamins, and at the very least the placebo effect—if not the real deal—will have your motor running.

Red Bull features this theoretically-potent combination and has mixed it with a host of flavors in its 23 American years. With literally over a dozen versions that have been on the market at one time or another, Red Bull is everywhere. This cocktail uses Red Bull Blue, a fizzy blueberry flavored concoction.

Grey Goose

You might not associate France with vodka, but that’s where Grey Goose originates! It’s a higher-end vodka that points to its single water source (a “limestone well” in the French village of Gensac-la-Pallue, according to the Grey Goose website) and a single wheat crop (from Picardie in northern France) as the reasons for its particular greatness. Even the cork gets soaked in Grey Goose before being inserted in the bottle, evidently, and each bottle is “washed” with vodka before the vodka is added. That’s some serious attention to detail.

The Cocktail

Now that you’ve sourced all your supplies, begin by setting up the berries. You’ve got two options here. If you’re planning to have Blue Balls for one (which, well, isn’t that usually the way), you put a tablespoon of the wild blueberries in a glass, bowl or jar and then pour one to two ounces of vodka over them—basically, a nip. One clocks in at about 1.7 ounces so it’s just right.

 If you’re looking to have Blue Balls for a crowd (insert joke here), you can put the whole bag of frozen berries to steep with an entire bottle of vodka. Vodka comes in a lot of sizes but if you’ve got a 12 oz bag of berries like this one from Dole, it contains about 40 tablespoons of fruit. You’ll want a little over a liter for a whole bag’s tablespoon-to-one-ounce ratio, but if you’re looking to make some stronger drinks, the 1.75 liter bottle of Grey Goose will do you just fine. We’re making a lot of blue balls here. You’ll need a heck of a punch bowl.

Let the berries and vodka steep at least twenty minutes but really, the longer the better. Go take the dog for a walk. Water the garden. Watch something on Netflix. Talk to your friends, who are clearly jonesing for a little something something but have to wait (obligatory blue balls joke). If you’re making a Blue Balls for one, contemplate what your friends would say if you invited them over for Blue Balls for a crowd. Think about the nature of the universe. Dust the high shelves you can’t reach without a stool (Just me? Well, that’s fine. We can’t all be tall).

Eventually, decide when your berries are well steeped. By then your vodka should now be a startling blue color. It won’t be one of the wild shades of blue that accompanied “blueberry” flavored slushies or freezer pops of your youth—teals and other colors—but more of an indigo. If you’re lucky you’ll still end up with a super blue tongue once you’ve had your drink, but no brain freeze.

Final Assembly

Once your berries are ready, you’re ready to begin assembly.

Get out your can of Red Bull Blue. You’re going to mix it with lemonade in equal measure, about 3-4 ounces each for a single Blue Balls. A can of Red Bull contains just over 8 ounces (or just under 9, depending on how you’re counting), so you can make 2-3 drinks with one can. You’re looking to add about twice as much Red Bull and twice as much lemonade as vodka, each; so if you’re doing a whole bag of berries/1.75L vodka batch, you’ll need a whopping 14 cans of Red Bull and one and a third 89-ounce bottles of lemonade. Maybe instead of a punch bowl, you’re going to need a tub for this, but feel free to scale your ingredients both to taste and to fit the containers you’ve got. Pour your berry vodka mix into a martini glass, add the lemonade-Red Bull blend and stir. Garnish with a lemon and voila—you’ve got little blue balls dancing around a reddish-hued blueberry lemonade extravaganza.

Put your feet up and feel your pent-up frustration melt away.

Yield: 1

Blue Balls Energy Drink Cocktail

Blue Balls Energy Drink Cocktail

This boozy energy drink will keep you partying all night long.

Prep Time 5 minutes
Additional Time 20 minutes
Total Time 25 minutes

Ingredients

  • Blue Redbull
  • Simply Lemonade
  • 1-2 oz Grey Goose Vodka
  • 1 Tbsp Frozen Wild Blueberries

Instructions

  1. Pour 1-2 oz of vodka over a tablespoon of blueberries. (Pitcher: add a whole bag to a whole bottle)
  2. Let teh berries steep in the vodka for at least 20 minutes.
  3. Add equal parts lemonade and blue edition red bull, approximately 3-4 oz of each to a glass, and stir.
  4. Garnish with a lemon slice

Notes

This makes a great summer drink to make ahead for guests in large batches.

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